What are positive changes which you would like to see being made in the adopted child's best interests? Here are some of my ideas, please feel free to comment and add some of your own ideas.
One thing we need is a database for all the natural parents who are refused Letterbox! We have one where inaccuracies and amendments (because we do not see those produced in Court do we?) are kept to one side even, so we need to see a database now for the children's sakes. No more growing up feeling like they have an extra big chunk missing. They can often feel this anyway when they're adopted.
We need a place of reference for the children, parent, Guardian, adoptive parents and relatives with a record of children's ages what they are likely to feel (positives and negatives) and at what age, statistics on things like reunions which I know was a 10% unsuccessful rate in 2010 and to see what can be done to improve that with a structured framework in place. Every child, carer, AP etc needs to be sent a copy. Not all use a computer!
We need it recognised that no contact is NOT helping the child's welfare, not helping them develop properly growing up or their confidence or dignity. What are they supposed to say to their friends? Even to have photos other than ones of natural family or vice versa ones of activities natural parents have done would be better than nothing for the adopted child to see or at the very least to have knowledge of. This would also help the adopted child in the prevention of being bullied by peers. The natural parents spirits would rise to become a stronger person so as one day, the no contact agreement could be re-evaluated.
It needs to be recognised that lack of or no contact is only helping encourage the children when they're older to live lives of crime. Section 47 investigations need investigating thoroughly right through to the end, not as far as they feel in necessary!
No natural parent is a wholly bad person, even when a Social Worker or Guardian fabricates evidence against a parent or child,or a parent who does not have Children's Services involved, a Teacher who over disciplines a child at school is a wholly bad person. (They are often engineered by those higher up) Every human being is created with free will whether they do things rightly or wrongly. The bottom line is children will want to know their roots, their origin, their place of birth, what their natural family look like (who they look like), what type of food they eat, their origins and their identity, where they come from, why they do the things they do (which natural parent do they have similarities to) who their natural relatives are, if they have any new natural siblings, family cultures, personalities, hobbies and similarities with natural family, their heritage, who there natural grandparents are.They may be feeling like a lost soul finding it difficult to share what they feel with their adoptive parents if they feel they have questions to ask about their natural families. They may have noticed there are no family photos of themselves at babies, or that their adoptive parents are not cradling them in the photos at their birth (all tell tale signs) which could cause emotional damage to the said child when they grow older, they may notice they do not look like who they have become to know are their families and their relatives. Then their behaviour could become a problem because they feel confused, lose respect for everyone, lose trust, not realise consequences of their behaviour through sheer confusion, the child might become a loner and need Cahms input regular and/or Counselling (they may have suffered the grief of a past or current bereavement) they may need play therapy, they may decide to search for their natural family in their teens or sooner by means of social media such as Facebook. If they want to contact their natural parents that much, they will go through a friend's account in need be. They are certainly looking to fill a void. Anyone who has ever lost a loved one will surely understand this.
Don't listen to Children's Services who say they doubt the adopted child will look again. I am living proof of that and can tell you, there are cases where they will. If it's not through a friend's account they will come looking through lost family groups. Some natural parents shower their homes with their natural children's photos on every wall, whereas others will keep them on Facebook in an album, where they can feel free to look at it when they feel able. This is how they may cope with the devastation in situations where the adoption was a forced, contested adoption. This does not make the child a bad child, it makes them inquisitive about all the above. What better way than to be able to share their feelings with their adoptive parents so they can help to support the child. There are times when face to face contact can be beneficial to the adopted child with their natural parent/s (This is something i was asked about if i would be in agreeance to help with anything concerning my natural child if need be, upon signing the one and only document all throughout Proceedings prior [the final agreement]) and as ones are aware who know me or of me, my natural son and i are in touch through social media now and before they have turned 18 (SS and their AP ARE aware) It would make things more comfortable ready for one day if and when the adopted child wants to reunite with their natural birth families all round. More than this, with both the natural parents and the adoptive parents support to the said child it would mean 'double the love' putting the child in a privileged better, happier position (because it is all about the child)
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/jun/19/facebook-adoption-tracing-birth-mother
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/may/23/how-social-networking-sites-threaten-the-security-of-adopted-children
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2010/may/23/birth-parents-stalk-adopted-facebook
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/facebook/8993526/Facebook-allows-natural-parents-to-track-down-adopted-children-charities-warn.html
http://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/091712p22.shtml
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1316384/Is-using-Facebook-trace-birth-parents-human-right.html
http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/04/adoptees-shouldnt-have-to-use-facebook-to-find-their-birth-parents/275251/
https://books.google.co.uk/books/about/Attachment_Theory.html?id=0eX7nQEACAAJ&redir_esc=y
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Rutter
During my own Court Hearing in 2013 which i myself brought the Application about for 'face to face' post adoption contact, i really did feel that Children's Services was trying to create a wedge between the adoptive parent and myself where there had been many things alleged. I did not all all find that helpful to the said child. I am in the fortunate position of knowing who my natural child's adoptive parent is and i doubted the things which were being alleged to have been said by them. If you are a natural parent or an adopted child or a child in the care system reading this now, i just want you to be aware that there is a huge difference in what the Local Authority alleges one says and what they really have said. Please proceed with caution should you choose to make a post adoption contact application (child arrangement order) as it is now known. Anything where you read the adoptive parent has said something, always always refer to it as being alleged unless you know for a fact it has been said or done. I am supportive of my natural child's adoptive parent and it's not fair on them really is it. Family Courts did not always want the adoptive family to be aware of the natural parent who brought about the said Application. I believe that has all changed now and it's the adoptive parents who must instead appear at Court as opposed to it being Children's Services. At the same time, to the adoptive parent who takes the child and absconds never to take part in Letterbox Contact again, the natural parents can apply to Court for what is nicknamed a 'seek and find order' to learn of the residency of the said child if need be. in fact, the natural parent can automatically be sent this at times from the Court itself. When a natural parent/grandparent/sibling etc makes their C100 Application, where the adoptive parent's/adopted child's address is unknown to them, is when the Court is likely to send the natural parent the C4 Application for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts. The local authority will most likely not be happy about this and in my case, i agreed to be content in not knowing the said details as i wanted to work towards what is best for my natural child and i was only seeking to get leave for face to face contact. I hardly think most adoptive parents would feel happy to have you at their house sipping a cup of tea sharing a packet of rich tea biscuits. The natural parent needs to show they're being reasonable if they want to achieve the said level of contact they're applying for. Keep it child focused, do not go into previous court cases in any detail unless it gets brought up by Children's Services upon for instance discovering your natural child is looking for you. You will be considered to be making a vexatious Application which could result in you getting nothing less than a 'NO Contact order.' (No matter how stinking corrupt it all went for you, because let me assure you i had exactly the same)
https://suesspiciousminds.com/2014/03/16/applying-for-contact-after-a-child-is-adopted/
If you're a natural parent reading this and your natural child has tried searching for you before and Children's Services have brought it to your attention prior, the said child (if running into problems with behaviour or at school/home) will be acting out in ways to portray they want to fill a void if they come searching for you again, or at any time. I know this is stating the obvious. I believe they are trying to search for help with their identity where they are looking for their natural family. This is no way a bad reflection on the equally loving adoptive parents. Where a child is truly loved, both will want what is in the best interests of the said child. It doesn't mean the child loves their adoptive parents any less. Just typing in a search for 'Forced Adoption' brought up About 178,000,000 results (1.02 seconds)
Search ResultsForced adoption is a term used by critics of the practice of removing children permanently from their parents and the subsequent adoption of those children, following intervention by the local education authority in the United Kingdom.Forced adoption in the United Kingdom - Wikipedia, the free ...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forced_adoption_in_the_United_Kingdom
Nowadays we expect all future potential adopters to be aware they may be taking on a child who was forcibly adopted, but then on the other side of the coin what are Children's Services telling them about you as a natural parent and your family, could fabrications be being told eg that none of the Professionals involved on the Case supported you, could this information have came falsely through a third party Professional who has in fact never met the natural birth family may be. Just like all adopted children don't find out the truth it can be the same for adoptive parents not finding out. You've only got to look at their Statements to get a clue if you're a natural parent then challenge the discrepancies. Why do they think that? Who told them that? Where is written to be true fact? then bring in your evidence to challenge and discredit the discrepancies. An adopted child can make a Subject Access request to the Council addressed to the 'data controller' followed by the Council's address for any files at the cost of £10 (a cheque) They have 40 days to produce them or you can turn to the Information Comissioners Office for anything relating to your data. That is your personal information and anyone can apply. You request the said files under the DPA 1998 and you don't have to give any reason why you are requesting your files. In fact it's probably best not to. You are likely to receive them with parts redacted (blacked out) You could always write further to challenge this or request they implement S:35 DPA 1998 when you first write through the data controller.
Find out how to request your personal information https://ico.org.uk/for-the-public/personal-information/
35 Disclosures required by law or made in connection with legal proceedings etc.(1)Personal data are exempt from the non-disclosure provisions where the disclosure is required by or under any enactment, by any rule of law or by the order of a court.
(2)Personal data are exempt from the non-disclosure provisions where the disclosure is necessary--
(a)for the purpose of, or in connection with, any legal proceedings (including prospective legal proceedings), or
(b)for the purpose of obtaining legal advice,
or is otherwise necessary for the purposes of establishing, exercising or defending legal rights.
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1998/29/section/35
Relates to children being looked after by a Local Authority
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1989/41/section/26
[F126Review of cases and inquiries into representations.
(1)The [F2appropriate national authority] may make regulations requiring the case of each child who is being looked after by a local authority to be reviewed in accordance with the provisions of the regulations.
(2)The regulations may, in particular, make provision--
(a)as to the manner in which each case is to be reviewed;
(b)as to the considerations to which the local authority are to have regard in reviewing each case;
(c)as to the time when each case is first to be reviewed and the frequency of subsequent reviews;
(d)requiring the authority, before conducting any review, to seek the views of--
(i)the child;
(ii)his parents;
(iii)any person who is not a parent of his but who has parental responsibility for him; and
(iv)any other person whose views the authority consider to be relevant,
including, in particular, the views of those persons in relation to any particular matter which is to be considered in the course of the review;
(e)requiring the authority F3. . . , in the case of a child who is in their care
[F4(i)to keep the section 31A plan for the child under review and, if they are of the opinion that some change is required, to revise the plan, or make a new plan, accordingly,
(ii)to consider], whether an application should be made to discharge the care order;
(f)requiring the authority F5. . . , in the case of a child in accommodation provided by the authority
[F6(i)if there is no plan for the future care of the child, to prepare one,
(ii)if there is such a plan for the child, to keep it under review and, if they are of the opinion that some change is required, to revise the plan or make a new plan, accordingly,
(iii)to consider], whether the accommodation accords with the requirements of this Part;
(g)requiring the authority to inform the child, so far as is reasonably practicable, of any steps he may take under this Act;
(h)requiring the authority to make arrangements, including arrangements with such other bodies providing services as it considers appropriate, to implement any decision which they propose to make in the course, or as a result, of the review;
(i)requiring the authority to notify details of the result of the review and of any decision taken by them in consequence of the review to--
(i)the child;
(ii)his parents;
(iii)any person who is not a parent of his but who has parental responsibility for him; and
(iv)any other person whom they consider ought to be notified;
(j)requiring the authority to monitor the arrangements which they have made with a view to ensuring that they comply with the regulations.
[F7(k)[F8for the authority to appoint a person in respect of each case to carry out in the prescribed manner the functions mentioned in subsection (2A) and any prescribed function]]
[F9(2A)[F10The functions referred to in subsection (2)(k) are--
(a)participating in the review of the case in question,
(b)monitoring the performance of the authority’s functions in respect of the review,
(c)referring the case to an officer of the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service [F11or a Welsh family proceedings officer], if the person appointed under subsection (2)(k) considers it appropriate to do so.]
(2B)[F10A person appointed under subsection (2)(k) must be a person of a prescribed description.]
(2C)[F10In relation to children whose cases are referred to officers under subsection (2A)(c), the Lord Chancellor may by regulations--
(a)extend any functions of the officers in respect of family proceedings (within the meaning of section 12 of the Criminal Justice and Court Services Act 2000) to other proceedings,
(b)require any functions of the officers to be performed in the manner prescribed by the regulations.]]
[F12(2D)[F10The power to make regulations in subsection (2C) is exercisable in relation to functions of Welsh family proceedings officers only with the consent of the [F13Welsh Ministers].]]
(3)Every local authority shall establish a procedure for considering any representations (including any complaint) made to them by--
(a)any child who is being looked after by them or who is not being looked after by them but is in need;
(b)a parent of his;
(c)any person who is not a parent of his but who has parental responsibility for him;
(d)any local authority foster parent;
(e)such other person as the authority consider has a sufficient interest in the child’s welfare to warrant his representations being considered by them,
about the discharge by the authority of any of their [F14qualifying functions ]in relation to the child.
[F15(3A)The following are qualifying functions for the purposes of subsection (3)--
(a)functions under this Part,
(b)such functions under Part 4 or 5 as are specified by the [F16appropriate national authority] in regulations.
(3B)The duty under subsection (3) extends to representations (including complaints) made to the authority by--
(a)any person mentioned in section 3(1) of the Adoption and Children Act 2002 (persons for whose needs provision is made by the Adoption Service) and any other person to whom arrangements for the provision of adoption support services (within the meaning of that Act) extend,
(b)such other person as the authority consider has sufficient interest in a child who is or may be adopted to warrant his representations being considered by them,
about the discharge by the authority of such functions under the Adoption and Children Act 2002 as are specified by the[F17appropriate national authority] in regulations.]
[F18(3C)The duty under subsection (3) extends to any representations (including complaints) which are made to the authority by--
(a)a child with respect to whom a special guardianship order is in force,
(b)a special guardian or a parent of such a child,
(c)any other person the authority consider has a sufficient interest in the welfare of such a child to warrant his representations being considered by them, or
(d)any person who has applied for an assessment under section 14F(3) or (4),
about the discharge by the authority of such functions under section 14F as may be specified by the [F19appropriate national authority] in regulations.]
(4)The procedure shall ensure that at least one person who is not a member or officer of the authority takes part in--
(a)the consideration; and
(b)any discussions which are held by the authority about the action (if any) to be taken in relation to the child in the light of the consideration
[F20but this subsection is subject to subsection (5A).]
[F21(4A)Regulations may be made by the [F22appropriate national authority] imposing time limits on the making of representations under this section.]
(5)In carrying out any consideration of representations under this section a local authority shall comply with any regulations made by the [F23appropriate national authority] for the purpose of regulating the procedure to be followed.
[F24(5A)Regulations under subsection (5) may provide that subsection (4) does not apply in relation to any consideration or discussion which takes place as part of a procedure for which provision is made by the regulations for the purpose of resolving informally the matters raised in the representations.]
(6)The [F25appropriate national authority] may make regulations requiring local authorities to monitor the arrangements that they have made with a view to ensuring that they comply with any regulations made for the purposes of subsection (5).
(7)Where any representation has been considered under the procedure established by a local authority under this section, the authority shall--
(a)have due regard to the findings of those considering the representation; and
(b)take such steps as are reasonably practicable to notify (in writing)--
(i)the person making the representation;
(ii)the child (if the authority consider that he has sufficient understanding); and
(iii)such other persons (if any) as appear to the authority to be likely to be affected,
of the authority’s decision in the matter and their reasons for taking that decision and of any action which they have taken, or propose to take.
(8)Every local authority shall give such publicity to their procedure for considering representations under this section as they consider appropriate.]
http://brighton.proceduresonline.com/chapters/g_ad_act_2002_chk_lst.htm
5.1.5 Welfare ChecklistSCOPE OF THIS CHAPTERThis is an extract from the Adoption and Children Act 2002 outlining the ‘Welfare Checklist’.
The following applies whenever a court or adoption agency is coming to a decision relation to the adoption of a child.
The paramount consideration of the court or adoption agency must be the child’s welfare, throughout his or her life.
The court or adoption agency must at all times bear in mind that, in general, any delay in coming to a decision is likely to prejudice the child’s welfare.
The court or adoption agency must have regard to the following matters (among others)
- The child’s ascertainable wishes and feelings regarding adoption (in the light of the child’s age and understanding);
- The child’s particular needs;
- The likely effect on the child (throughout his life) of having ceased to be a member of the original family and become an adopted person;
- The child’s age, sex, background and any relevant characteristics which the court or agency consider relevant;
- Any harm (within the meaning of the Children Act 1989) which the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering;
- The relationship which the child has with relatives, and with any other person with whom the child has a significant relationship. This should also include:
- The likelihood of that relationship continuing and the value to the child of it doing so;
- The ability and willingness of such a person to provide the child with a secure environment and meet his needs);
- The wishes and feelings of such a person regarding the child.
- In placing the child for adoption, the adoption agency must give due consideration to the child’s religious persuasion, racial origin and cultural and linguistic background.
Another reason why i think it's important to bridge the gap between adoptive and natural parents best it can be (not divide as Children's Services would often prefer) is because the friction and the sheer tension once an adopted child wants to trace their natural family, could put the Adoption Placement at risk of breaking down. CS may say that the child is ten at risk of being under extreme emotional harm which may trigger events which would lead to the said child running away. Remember this is alleged unless you see any written evidence by CS. Terina Keene, Railway Children Chief Executive said- 'When children go missing, they are at very serious risk of physical abuse, sexual exploitation and may resort to desperate measures to survive.' If you're a child in the care system/adoptive Placement reading this, these concerns are very real. Please do-not just run and tell a trusted person where you are. Any loving natural parent will not want to see that, for the said child to end up in a cycle back in Care all over again. If Children's Services should inform you this is the case, then i would certainly make an Application to Court (because it's difficult to put your mind at rest having it any other way concerned about your natural child) and especially where aswell Children's Services have informed you of any development delays your natural child allegedly has. You need to bring out how it could cause more harm than good should they be likely to run away from their Placement. Not a comforting thought for neither the adoptive parent and the natural parent is it? They may not be streetwise or have the maturity levels their peers have to cope well with such a situation. Where it's said they are Gillik Compenent, you need to be requesting to have this confirmed from the said child's doctor. CS word is not good enough alone.
Should Children's Services (CS) contact you wanting to come and see you at your home address for a meeting, request a letter clarifying why. I did this to be told all i would get is a cold letter. I think it's reasonable to request given they want to come and hold a meeting at your house usually at short notice. My elder children had left home, so i exercised my Article 8 HRA 1998 rights to a private family life (difficult to do if you have children still living at home, they can send the police round to do a welfare check. Work with them, but every natural parent/parent deserves courtesy at the same time.
If a natural child does contact you over Facebook, it's going to upset them if you ignore them when you're their natural parent and it is better to say hello but also check their adoptive parent is aware they have contacted you. This is easier said than done to begin with, since the said child may feel anxious to inform their AP straight away. A bad reaction from an AP is the worst thing they could do for the child. They are trying to reconcile with their natural family for a reason.A natural parent will have concerns about the safety side as i'm sure so will the adoptive parent. There is an overriding right of that and the child to keep in contact [Article 7 UNCRC] if the child wants it and she/he is of an age she/he can understand the possible consequences of making that choice. Natural and adoptive parents have no strict text book to follow enabling them how to deal with matters 100% to best effect. Where hiccups do arise, it can be unfair on both sets of parents. Both have to rely on the middle man with Chinese whispers with the greatest of respect, being shared between them causing at times the adopted child to lose out unfairly.
http://www.unicef.org/crc/files/Rights_overview.pdf
Article 7 (Registration, name, nationality, care): All children have the right to a legally registered name, officially recognised by the government. Children have the right to a nationality (to belong to a country). Children also have the right to know and, as far as possible, to be cared for by their parents.
Some things to use from previous Cases would be if there had been any reports you hadn't seen, x-rays not seen, Paediatrician reports, past experiences with children having behaviour difficulties, running away etc if Children's Services bring any of it up. Tie in what is relevant should you choose to make a post adoption application to Court but aim to stick with the information given to you now by CS not back then where you can avoid doing so. Then use it in a way beneficial to your Application. For eg- I was really concerned to learn that ********** is now running away. Child A used to run away (and list what problems child A got into) Being blood tied, this is a similarity they could have with for instance with a sibling through similarities in their make up/genes.
Have you encountered CS making any data breaches along the way?
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1998/29/section/55
55 Unlawful obtaining etc. of personal data.(1)A person must not knowingly or recklessly, without the consent of the data controller--
(a)obtain or disclose personal data or the information contained in personal data, or
(b)procure the disclosure to another person of the information contained in personal data.
(2)Subsection (1) does not apply to a person who shows--
(a)that the obtaining, disclosing or procuring--
(i)was necessary for the purpose of preventing or detecting crime, or
(ii)was required or authorised by or under any enactment, by any rule of law or by the order of a court,
(b)that he acted in the reasonable belief that he had in law the right to obtain or disclose the data or information or, as the case may be, to procure the disclosure of the information to the other person,
(c)that he acted in the reasonable belief that he would have had the consent of the data controller if the data controller had known of the obtaining, disclosing or procuring and the circumstances of it, or
(d)that in the particular circumstances the obtaining, disclosing or procuring was justified as being in the public interest.
(3)A person who contravenes subsection (1) is guilty of an offence.
(4)A person who sells personal data is guilty of an offence if he has obtained the data in contravention of subsection (1).
(5)A person who offers to sell personal data is guilty of an offence if--
(a)he has obtained the data in contravention of subsection (1), or
(b)he subsequently obtains the data in contravention of that subsection.
(6)For the purposes of subsection (5), an advertisement indicating that personal data are or may be for sale is an offer to sell the data.
(7)Section 1(2) does not apply for the purposes of this section; and for the purposes of subsections (4) to (6), “personal data” includes information extracted from personal data.
(8)References in this section to personal data do not include references to personal data which by virtue of section 28 [F1 or 33A] are exempt from this section.
Children's Services pushed their Statement through your door last thing?
You've already written your Statement ready for Court then CS go and give you 2 days to respond to their Statement when you're representing yourself in Court, you just write an Addendum. (an item of additional material added at the end of a book or other publication) I will add a blog on Court bundles as soon as i can.
Would the difference in how a child sees the world growing up be different where there are differences in whether the natural parents signed the adoption papers or not. This is something i would like to see data and statistics collated on. Then the differences compared to if adopted children found out their status in their pre teens, teens, into early adult hood and older adulthood. Contested adoptions are on the increase all the time or rather better known as 'FORCED' adoptions where may parents are bribed and coerced into signing the adoption papers i.e: Section 20 CA 1989 in the wrong belief it is to agree to the child being voluntarily accommodated. Many were and still are sadly being misled. Adopted children will not always be fortunate enough to be informed of this, so i am informing you now in your best interests because surely it will benefit you to know this. I would advise that any and every adopted child/teen/adult retrieves their file copies to the Council by the means of a SARS request to help them mentally where they are struggling to come to terms with what they learn. From around the age of 12-13 you can request your files/data in your own right and in fact the Information Commissioner's Office advocates this.
https://ico.org.uk/ (You can find their phone number here)
If i can think of anything to add to this blog or you have any comments to make of your own, please feel free to comment. I do talk through experience not as a Solicitor, not as an adult survivor of the care system, but as a natural birth parent who i believe has so far had the most successful outcome at Family High Court for Post Adoption Contact and i am here to support you as much as i am able to. I can appreciate that there are children out there who have appreciated their time in care and i respect and am pleased this has happened for you and i wish you well. My blog is aimed at the ones more who have not been so lucky, but please feel free to share your positive experiences with me all the same. One of the things i would like to share to help natural parents is how to write a good letter to their natural child in the near future, because i realise that it is not always an easy task. Think talk about the weather, keeping it light, cheerful and not too long. There is alot of information in there for the said child to digest.
If Children's Services or the Court Clerk approaches you as a natural parent telling you your natural child is going through a 'settling in period' i know again it's stating the obvious, but it could mean that the Adoptive Placement as broken down a) The Court Clerk should not be giving you legal information anyway (it says so when you call the Court) b) You'll be wanting to see evidence in writing to back this up if it's true. It's far better for the said child if they can remain where they are for their mental well being if the Placement has been a positive one when there are adopted children or ones in the care system grow up with out the nurturing of having a loving parent/loving parents with whom they've lost contact. Sadly many will turn to crime into adulthood but not all. This is another subject area i would like to collate data on. (Please refer to the Michael Rutter Wikipedia link i posted up earlier above)
Some books i can recommend are:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/When-Truth-No-Longer-Matters-ebook/dp/B00AURYBPI?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0 which i have read and loved and 'Taken' by Sue O'Callaghan
A film i can recommend i have also watched is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpAzazwI-iY
Something else to consider strongly i must stress which i cannot stress enough, is that increased contact could naturally cause anxiety to both or either that of the adopted child or the natural parent. The adopted child could through adolescence need counselling or nurturing work with them, or/and could need play therapy if they are a younger child. I say this is no way to place blame on neither the adoptive parent or the birth parent. I am telling you this to be sensitive towards the adopted child's needs, thoughts and wishes. If your natural child wants to search for you, it must come from them if they are a child and not the other way round because it is all about the best interests of the child. Sure, if they come seeking to find you and you want to help support them make a Post Adoption Application into Court. You will need to apply where the last Family Court Hearing was held. It may be decided for you, to take place at a higher Court like your local one or the RCJ in London.
If you are getting minimal contact at present and the said child is young, i would advise keeping it at the level it is at until the said child is a bit older, then ask for the current situation to be reviewed with the adoption centre to see if there is any way it could be increased slightly. Think baby steps.There are always options of phone and skype contact you could request too even if it's supervised. If you're getting no contact whatsoever, i hope my blog page helps you by following my advice to request to still send a newsletter once a year in the child's best interests. Adopted children will still often want to know their natural family is ok. If this gets accepted, i would not advise pushing for 2 way newsletters to be exchanged just yet. As natural parents we have to be able to satisfy the Court first. Your newsletter contact or direct contact can not be stopped without first you being taken to Court (Recommendations of SS and/or AP's are simply not enough) although the AP does get to have the final say and likewise the Judge. Something else you can always do is to request an update over the phone to the adoption centre on how your natural child is doing. Remember children do have a right to know who their parents are as always covered today in my blog page. One of the wonderful things about if you do make a Post Adoption Application, is that you will get to learn more about your child's development and small parts of their family life as well as other things. As natural parents we too have concerns and need to be assured our natural child is as happy as they can be. For any potential Adopters out there reading this, beware because you may well not be given all the information you need about the child's background through Children's Services Adoption Panel.It has been known and it happened to me for one, for someone from the Adoption Panel to stand in Court telling the whole Court room all about the parent they have never even met before so as you can imagine, the information can be full of loopholes and inaccuracies. The only way i can see is for the said child to have positivity and the comfort and knowledge, with the love and care of both sets of parents and in the best interests of the child.