It will tell you in your Judgement what level of contact you are allowed. Most Adopters (and Foster Carer's) like the children to have a settling in period first, especially Adopters.
When i first learnt i'd lost my son to Forced Adoption, i was allowed to have Letterbox Contact twice a year with photos and the original plan to let me have Face To Face contact changed once it reached the Adoption Panel stage. This was because i outright refused to sign the Section 20 CA 1989. I refused to sign in my natural son's best interests, since i did not want him to grow up with the message thinking my mum did not want to keep me. This was especially given aswell i got to keep my other 3 children in my care. I was conscience it would make him perhaps feel like i wanted to keep his siblings but not him. This could not be further from the truth. I wanted all my 4 children home. I only only ever put my son in temporary care because i was heading for a breakdown at the time.
The day the decision was made for Adoption i really thought it was game over. I was led to believe i had lost my parental rights where i had not. I was informed it was fruitless me appealing once the Judge had his mind made up, i thought the Adoption Order was rubber stamped. I was wrong, but i did not know this in hindsight, since my Case ran in the days there was no support out there by means of Facebook or other social media. Not that i was aware of anyway. So they say parents can tend to turn to drink or alcohol. Especially if like me, i did not know which way to turn. I turned to drink, yes alcohol! In fact at the time, i became alcoholic. I am now recovering alcoholic and have been for a number of years. Because i hit the demon drink, the Adoption Centre informed me i could not write to my son as originally planned. It is the Adopter who gets the final say when it comes to Letterbox Contact. I had not known this prior.
I telephoned the Adoption Centre at a later date to inform them i had stopped drinking. I did have a few relapses before i managed to beat my habit. I was not alcoholic before i lost my son to Adoption. I had as i recall 2 SW's come out to see me, and Letterbox was established once a year and i'd get my photos. I too could send them.
Then, in 2010 as i recall, i had been helping push leaflets through doors to help MP John Hemming to regain his seat and a man named Tim Haines collected both myself and another parent to help. It was then i learnt my son had been illegally kidnapped, because i'd had a Care Plan of my own in place and my rights to have my son home got ignored! I shared what i learnt on social media and someone who ran a website (several ran it i believe) posted a post up on my behalf to try and help me where my natural son's picture was used. I had not posted it myself, yes i received a call from the Adoption Centre telling me my photos would now be stopped. The reasons given to me were a) I'd posted something about my natural son on a website then later b) Social Services were looking at stopping photos for any future natural parents anyway, because now with Facebook around it was creating problems for them. I asked which one it was as to the reasons why. Then i also got informed Government had removed the said website called 'UK Stolen Children.'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dmcqIfHI4Q You can see all about the stage 2 meeting i took matters to her over me reporting fraudulent document/s concerns to the police and reporting my concerns to the authorities. I had not realised it was Contempt Of Court to have it changed until a later date. But i knew something wasn't right because the Adoption Manageress had been annoyed with me and asked me what i was hoping to achieve. It has also been considered by the Adoptive Parent me having videos of my natural son from time to time. This had been after the SW Liz Ryder saying no at a final meeting between her, the Adoptive Parent, the Guardian and myself (There may have been one more person there thinking about it) The adoption had gone through in 2006, it was now 2010 and i'd not asked for any yet (other than the swimming one i received early on) We had signed a 'Final Agreement' concerning Letterbox. It was the only document i signed. By the end of the meeting, i was both punished with my photos stopped and rewarded with regaining the second Letterbox a year i should have been having in the first place. I'm guessing they did not feel comfortable with me taking matters back to Court at this stage.
Aged 12, my natural son had learnt he was adopted and wanted to write to me himself. 12 months later i had heard nothing. Looking back, it might not have been such a bad thing in the sense i did get to hear at some point and i continued to send my letters. If you feel the Adopter is upset with you for any reason, be it because of a post SS have accused you of being responsible for, sometimes it's best to take a step back for a bit then try again. What really is meant to happen is the Adopter takes matters back to Court because they can make changes to Contact, although they have to have good reason too. If SS contacts you at any time alleging the Adoptive Parent is looking at stopping your Letterbox, don't take it for gospel. The only sure way to find out is by taking matters back to Court. (I've covered this on one of my first blog posts) Social Services will also inform you the Final Agreement is not a legally binding document. Yet, it informs you on the said document it IS legally binding so that is contradicting.
2012, i had 2 SW's come out to my house because extended family and my natural son had been in contact. This is not the responsibility of the natural parent should this happen. SS will try to hold you responsible but you are not responsible for others actions. I was being informed the Adopter was looking at stopping the Letterbox Contact altogether. I said if that happened, i would take matters back to Court this time and since last time i'm now aware they was in Contempt to stop it. Take it to Court i did and i came out with a Court Order in my favour and lost the Case all in one go. I've been informed so far, no one has managed to achieve getting this far. This is how come now my natural son and i are getting a bit more level of contact on social media and it's being allowed. Both the SS and his Adoptive Parent are aware. Up until SS came out in 2012, i had been told it was a 'Closed Adoption' because i only got Letterbox and no direct Face To Face contact. 2012 i was being told different, that it's Open Adoption' because i am allowed to write letters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtxLvOXMNUQ
Part 1 to help natural parents understand the process of forced adoption regards letterbox contact. This is part one of three shared to help you.
If you're meant to receive your photos or a letter and you've not received your news items on time, it is quite common and try not to panic too much because one usually does come even where it's not on time. Since i took matters back to Court, i will admit i felt blocked to write letters because SS side fabricated evidence saying my natural son had not been looking for me when basically he had been looking for his natural family. Because i got told when SS came out. See the link above and have a listen for more details. Presuming and usually you will continue your Letterbox as planned, you have not received a letter in a while, then phone up and ask for an update on your natural child. I have done this and received some news that way instead. Where you've not received anything in a long time be it letters or photos as stated you can have, your next step might have to be to- Call the adoption centre in the first instance. Explain you know that Adopters like having a settling in period for the adopted child, then say. but it's been X years now. If no joy, tell them you're going to have to consider putting in a c100 application (Child arrangement Order) into court because it's Contempt of Court if it's wrote in the Judgement you should be having them.
When we write our letters to the Adoption Centre, i got informed in 2012 that the letters get sent to the Adoptive Parent not by post as i'd originally been led to believe, but by email. I therefore asked if i could send my letter by email. It was agreed i could do that. You can send photos in the same way.
My other 3 children were too meant to be getting Face To Face contact twice a year. This too changed by the time it reached the Adoption Panel stage (and my report was written by a Jenny Jarmie i believe whom i had never met and i remember meeting a Gary Eyles on 1 occasion at a meeting where everyone else was there as i recall) It had been Jenny Jarmie who stood up in Court telling them all about me, but she did not know me! I requested to meet her after for support given the Adoption was going ahead and her response in the background over the phone was-'She had her chance!' This had been because understandably i was reluctant since i was adamant my son was NOT being adopted. This had not been the type of support i had been requesting from SS.
The reason it got stopped for my other 3 children is because a) I would not sign the Section 20 and i'd wondered why i was still been pestered to sign it after the decision had got made (when i had thought it was game over) None of them told me any different! b) They were concerned if my children saw him they would come back telling me all about it. All i had done wrong in their eyes had to not be bribed into something many of us nickname the fraudulent S:20 (Because it's claimed and written it is voluntary when it's not. It's used as a bargaining tool to bribe and torment parents with when if they're going to take your child they will do it anyway!) My Solicitor's firm let me down saying they could not help because they had gone over private and stopped dealing with Family Law Cases. (I tracked my Solicitor down 8 years later because it took that long even after contacting the SRA several times/she'd had a name change, surname)She told me the firm could have helped me after all provided there were grounds. Well i never got to find out because they never allowed me to book a further appointment (other than the one where i complained and had her found in breach since!) Where i got sent £50 compensation i had not requested which is measly compared to regaining the care of your child. It seems to be a common running theme parents are being informed they will get Face To Face contact. It's fair to comment that information they are telling many parents is a load of bull fabrications which is emotional abuse really, it's mental torture and cruelty. (Then they say you need to be assessed and concerning anything where they put you under duress) If you are a sibling or a grandparent (and see my previous blog pages for more information who can apply), make your own application for Face To Face contact and i wish you every success.
Lastly, if you do decide to proceed with Court, make your application to the last Court you attended concerning the said Case start researching how you put your bundle together with your index, Judgement(s), your chronology, your statements and theirs etc (x3) and be prepared to be sleep deprived with a fridge and freezer full of finger food easily accessible, because it's like being in an army camp so better to be prepared. Also, be prepared for the Statements from the LA being pushed through your door (not sent through the post stamped) on a Friday evening ready for you to attend Court on the following Monday morning all bright and early and bushy tailed.
When i first learnt i'd lost my son to Forced Adoption, i was allowed to have Letterbox Contact twice a year with photos and the original plan to let me have Face To Face contact changed once it reached the Adoption Panel stage. This was because i outright refused to sign the Section 20 CA 1989. I refused to sign in my natural son's best interests, since i did not want him to grow up with the message thinking my mum did not want to keep me. This was especially given aswell i got to keep my other 3 children in my care. I was conscience it would make him perhaps feel like i wanted to keep his siblings but not him. This could not be further from the truth. I wanted all my 4 children home. I only only ever put my son in temporary care because i was heading for a breakdown at the time.
The day the decision was made for Adoption i really thought it was game over. I was led to believe i had lost my parental rights where i had not. I was informed it was fruitless me appealing once the Judge had his mind made up, i thought the Adoption Order was rubber stamped. I was wrong, but i did not know this in hindsight, since my Case ran in the days there was no support out there by means of Facebook or other social media. Not that i was aware of anyway. So they say parents can tend to turn to drink or alcohol. Especially if like me, i did not know which way to turn. I turned to drink, yes alcohol! In fact at the time, i became alcoholic. I am now recovering alcoholic and have been for a number of years. Because i hit the demon drink, the Adoption Centre informed me i could not write to my son as originally planned. It is the Adopter who gets the final say when it comes to Letterbox Contact. I had not known this prior.
I telephoned the Adoption Centre at a later date to inform them i had stopped drinking. I did have a few relapses before i managed to beat my habit. I was not alcoholic before i lost my son to Adoption. I had as i recall 2 SW's come out to see me, and Letterbox was established once a year and i'd get my photos. I too could send them.
Then, in 2010 as i recall, i had been helping push leaflets through doors to help MP John Hemming to regain his seat and a man named Tim Haines collected both myself and another parent to help. It was then i learnt my son had been illegally kidnapped, because i'd had a Care Plan of my own in place and my rights to have my son home got ignored! I shared what i learnt on social media and someone who ran a website (several ran it i believe) posted a post up on my behalf to try and help me where my natural son's picture was used. I had not posted it myself, yes i received a call from the Adoption Centre telling me my photos would now be stopped. The reasons given to me were a) I'd posted something about my natural son on a website then later b) Social Services were looking at stopping photos for any future natural parents anyway, because now with Facebook around it was creating problems for them. I asked which one it was as to the reasons why. Then i also got informed Government had removed the said website called 'UK Stolen Children.'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dmcqIfHI4Q You can see all about the stage 2 meeting i took matters to her over me reporting fraudulent document/s concerns to the police and reporting my concerns to the authorities. I had not realised it was Contempt Of Court to have it changed until a later date. But i knew something wasn't right because the Adoption Manageress had been annoyed with me and asked me what i was hoping to achieve. It has also been considered by the Adoptive Parent me having videos of my natural son from time to time. This had been after the SW Liz Ryder saying no at a final meeting between her, the Adoptive Parent, the Guardian and myself (There may have been one more person there thinking about it) The adoption had gone through in 2006, it was now 2010 and i'd not asked for any yet (other than the swimming one i received early on) We had signed a 'Final Agreement' concerning Letterbox. It was the only document i signed. By the end of the meeting, i was both punished with my photos stopped and rewarded with regaining the second Letterbox a year i should have been having in the first place. I'm guessing they did not feel comfortable with me taking matters back to Court at this stage.
Aged 12, my natural son had learnt he was adopted and wanted to write to me himself. 12 months later i had heard nothing. Looking back, it might not have been such a bad thing in the sense i did get to hear at some point and i continued to send my letters. If you feel the Adopter is upset with you for any reason, be it because of a post SS have accused you of being responsible for, sometimes it's best to take a step back for a bit then try again. What really is meant to happen is the Adopter takes matters back to Court because they can make changes to Contact, although they have to have good reason too. If SS contacts you at any time alleging the Adoptive Parent is looking at stopping your Letterbox, don't take it for gospel. The only sure way to find out is by taking matters back to Court. (I've covered this on one of my first blog posts) Social Services will also inform you the Final Agreement is not a legally binding document. Yet, it informs you on the said document it IS legally binding so that is contradicting.
2012, i had 2 SW's come out to my house because extended family and my natural son had been in contact. This is not the responsibility of the natural parent should this happen. SS will try to hold you responsible but you are not responsible for others actions. I was being informed the Adopter was looking at stopping the Letterbox Contact altogether. I said if that happened, i would take matters back to Court this time and since last time i'm now aware they was in Contempt to stop it. Take it to Court i did and i came out with a Court Order in my favour and lost the Case all in one go. I've been informed so far, no one has managed to achieve getting this far. This is how come now my natural son and i are getting a bit more level of contact on social media and it's being allowed. Both the SS and his Adoptive Parent are aware. Up until SS came out in 2012, i had been told it was a 'Closed Adoption' because i only got Letterbox and no direct Face To Face contact. 2012 i was being told different, that it's Open Adoption' because i am allowed to write letters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtxLvOXMNUQ
Part 1 to help natural parents understand the process of forced adoption regards letterbox contact. This is part one of three shared to help you.
If you're meant to receive your photos or a letter and you've not received your news items on time, it is quite common and try not to panic too much because one usually does come even where it's not on time. Since i took matters back to Court, i will admit i felt blocked to write letters because SS side fabricated evidence saying my natural son had not been looking for me when basically he had been looking for his natural family. Because i got told when SS came out. See the link above and have a listen for more details. Presuming and usually you will continue your Letterbox as planned, you have not received a letter in a while, then phone up and ask for an update on your natural child. I have done this and received some news that way instead. Where you've not received anything in a long time be it letters or photos as stated you can have, your next step might have to be to- Call the adoption centre in the first instance. Explain you know that Adopters like having a settling in period for the adopted child, then say. but it's been X years now. If no joy, tell them you're going to have to consider putting in a c100 application (Child arrangement Order) into court because it's Contempt of Court if it's wrote in the Judgement you should be having them.
When we write our letters to the Adoption Centre, i got informed in 2012 that the letters get sent to the Adoptive Parent not by post as i'd originally been led to believe, but by email. I therefore asked if i could send my letter by email. It was agreed i could do that. You can send photos in the same way.
My other 3 children were too meant to be getting Face To Face contact twice a year. This too changed by the time it reached the Adoption Panel stage (and my report was written by a Jenny Jarmie i believe whom i had never met and i remember meeting a Gary Eyles on 1 occasion at a meeting where everyone else was there as i recall) It had been Jenny Jarmie who stood up in Court telling them all about me, but she did not know me! I requested to meet her after for support given the Adoption was going ahead and her response in the background over the phone was-'She had her chance!' This had been because understandably i was reluctant since i was adamant my son was NOT being adopted. This had not been the type of support i had been requesting from SS.
The reason it got stopped for my other 3 children is because a) I would not sign the Section 20 and i'd wondered why i was still been pestered to sign it after the decision had got made (when i had thought it was game over) None of them told me any different! b) They were concerned if my children saw him they would come back telling me all about it. All i had done wrong in their eyes had to not be bribed into something many of us nickname the fraudulent S:20 (Because it's claimed and written it is voluntary when it's not. It's used as a bargaining tool to bribe and torment parents with when if they're going to take your child they will do it anyway!) My Solicitor's firm let me down saying they could not help because they had gone over private and stopped dealing with Family Law Cases. (I tracked my Solicitor down 8 years later because it took that long even after contacting the SRA several times/she'd had a name change, surname)She told me the firm could have helped me after all provided there were grounds. Well i never got to find out because they never allowed me to book a further appointment (other than the one where i complained and had her found in breach since!) Where i got sent £50 compensation i had not requested which is measly compared to regaining the care of your child. It seems to be a common running theme parents are being informed they will get Face To Face contact. It's fair to comment that information they are telling many parents is a load of bull fabrications which is emotional abuse really, it's mental torture and cruelty. (Then they say you need to be assessed and concerning anything where they put you under duress) If you are a sibling or a grandparent (and see my previous blog pages for more information who can apply), make your own application for Face To Face contact and i wish you every success.
Lastly, if you do decide to proceed with Court, make your application to the last Court you attended concerning the said Case start researching how you put your bundle together with your index, Judgement(s), your chronology, your statements and theirs etc (x3) and be prepared to be sleep deprived with a fridge and freezer full of finger food easily accessible, because it's like being in an army camp so better to be prepared. Also, be prepared for the Statements from the LA being pushed through your door (not sent through the post stamped) on a Friday evening ready for you to attend Court on the following Monday morning all bright and early and bushy tailed.